I suppose an update here is due. I can't remember if I posted on the private blog or not.. Hm..

Currently at my parent's. Just chillin, seeing how they are, stealing their internet, ya know, the usual.

Work tonight and tomorrow and then uni.. Ahh the cycle.

Oh! Spoke to one of my best friends who I hadn't spoken to in ageeeees last night. Sacrificed my sleep too haha. And now my eye hurts.. But it was worth it. Like most things, you never realise how much you miss someone until they're right there infront of you, and everything comes back. It was great : ) Really putting a smile on my face today and a happy bubbling in my chest.

And Max resigned from our current place of employment :O Well, we would have by now. Ofcause I've had to keep it secret but the letter was handed in today and all is well.. I think. He's becoming a contract caterer for another place, attached to a club and golfcourse which is brand spanking newly built. Contract caterer means he's the Chef in charge, he hires more guys if he needs, and front of house staff, kitchenhands etc. He's looking forward to it, the only problem is the golf course is not yet completed so we predict a lack of income for the first months.. So we have what's left of his bank account, and my income to sustain us.. Worked out the details. We think it'll work. Here's hoping...

Which means I need to get my license!! Car and Motorbike I'm thinking. Yes.. It is something I should have done 4 years ago, I admit. I let things drag on too long...

So. All seems well. Appears well. I wonder what work will be like tonight when I go in and people know the news..

21-08-08

Mm some things are so deliciously tasty.. And I don't mean food. Well, that too ofcause xD

Guys guys guys. Or rather men. Older, tastier guys. That sounds so bad but I'm not saying it in a bad way. Perhaps I'm making a connection between older guys and tasty because mine's a chef and I just ate his dinner. And yes, it was tasty.

But yes... Mm.. Nothing is as amazing as food, except older sexier males, bah hahaha.

13-08-08 (2)

Writing the past long entry.. And another long private entry... Has done nothing for my mood. Someone is home now. Came while I was typing that longer entry.. I don't care. Ofcause I care, the mood is decreasing, perhaps from that presence or from my endless typing, like someone possessed. No really. I have to type.. Have to say something.. It helps.. Helps me not think. I hate my brain sometimes. No really.. I do. Anyway. I am going to stay in this mood maybe until tomorrow when I wake, maybe for longer tomorrow after I wake. I don't know, but I'm going to half as choice.. I know is worries you when I'm not happy and so I want you to be worried. I am angry and I needed someone and you wern't there. Not that I would say such a thing to you.. And you don't read this so it doesn't matter. But it's just flowing now. That is only half of my issues. The other half are two things, one is uni, one is another personal issue. Ok, so this first one is personal but I don't care.. Because it's not like he will read this and know. I do want him to know, but I don't. And I don't talk about it. I don't talk about these things. Siiigh... The music is flowing.. I want to put my earphones back in, where the music is so loud I can't hear anything else.. But he is here and that is rude.. I think. I am going to finish the rest of this bottle of wine, fast. And then I am going to bed. To let my head spin into sweet oblivion.

13-08-08

Irritation comes in many forms and for many reasons. Ok, personally, I'm a company person. But that I mean, leave me alone for a while and I will eventually go insane or do something stupid (possibly from the insanity). So how about when you're supposed to be spending time with Raine and you don't? Which ofcause leaves me alone.. And there is the problem. Especially if I wasn't supposed to be!! Defeats the purpose of many things. And if there is not even a good reason.. No logical explination except which my mind will come to, obviously the time was more preferred to be spent elsewhere. What the hell else am I supposed to think. Atleast contact me to tell me... Ugh.

This university thing I was supposed to do, which I didn't know existed because of some time mixup until pretty much now is also one of the most pointless things I have ever had to do.. Come on, if I'm gonna mould my future from this motherfucking course atleast make it so I'll hve a chance in the fucking real world. Be creative. This IS a design course.. Creativity you'd think, would be a given.

Issues.. Resurfacing. Perhaps that is why I am perhaps more sensitive than usual? No, maybe it's because I care too much. So I should stop caring. Yeah right, there's no winning that one. Anyway, not that I am pissed issues resurface, but as everyone who knows me even slightly, will know that issues to do with myself, I always just ignore or distract myself from until it's no longer the dominating thought. I suppose that leaves some things unresolved but it's how I work, and what the hell, it helped me through the worst time of my life so it's not likely I'm gonna even try to change the way I deal.

Also. The louder you put the metal music in your earphones, the more you can hear random voices. True? I just hear them, familiar voices sometimes even, just saying my name. But I know no ones there ofcause.. I'm currently alone. (Plus highly doubt my mother is in my house)..

Oh there we go. Jump. Could have sworn I felt vibration in the floor.. Can't hear anything though.. The metal is the only thing keeping me from going insane at this current point in time.. And typing. Endless stream of typed thought.. Things moving in peripheral vision.. Paranoia? Well ofcause.. I already knew I had that.

Freeze.. Haha. Would would I do if someone came in anyway? What could I do? Throw my MacBook at them? Not likely. Metal and alcohol.. There IS that bottle of wine.. I bought for the night because I assumed someone would be here to consume it with me. Whatever. Party for one?

07-08-08

Tired but feeling happy with myself. I updated IBn's layout. YEP that's right, you heard correctly. Something I'd been meaning to do for what.. The past year..? Ah hahaha.

I might change this one but leave this certain layout for something else.. A secret project :O mwaha.. Let's see if the inspiration sticks ay.

04-08-08

Digital Design Production. Didn't know it was already August. Bit boring, seeming I've already done this subject. Luckily for me, my teacher doesn't appear to recognise me. Or perhaps he's merely sparing me. Which is nice. Given, I did last take this subject a year ago.

Design Issues. Wow uni makes me think. Well ofcause it's supposed to but makes me think I should document such a... Thought. Yes. That was intelligent, Raine.
So it seems this is a "controversal" design class. Both something I love and hate, how torn am I.

So.. Incase that above did not make any sense, which it probably didn't, University restarted today. Well it did a week ago but I was sick and dying in my bed.
And I had a little bit of time in class so I typed that up at the time.

Puzzle Pirates is going well! I'm back fo' reals now. I moved from Cry Havoc.. I know... And from the Knights. Nothing personal. I still love CH and Knights and the people in them it's just that.. The people. Most are inactive now.. It was very hard though.
So now I reside in Rum Raiders, Jassoggle and Moggle's crew. Mates I've known for ages. We created a new flag the other day too, Spank My Aft. And they wanted me to Monarch, which ofcause I would love to. All the best for new beginnings xx